what self-care looks like for a child under three
Úna Shea, AMI 0-3 diploma
During the first three years of life a child takes in sensory information at an amazing rate in order to support the development of an emerging, independent personality. While both observing and absorbing their surroundings they begin to replicate the habits, interactions, and expressions of those around them. An important element of independence is the ability to care for oneself. Independence is relative to the age and ability of the individual; for this age group, independence can come through tasks like feeding oneself, blowing one's nose, or changing one's clothes. We can encourage the children in our lives to participate in the care for themselves in a few ways.
Firstly, we can model all the ways in which we take care of our own bodies. At mealtimes we can demonstrate how we eat with our chosen utensils and how we drink from a drinking vessel. At appropriate times of the day we can show how we brush our hair, wash our hands and brush our teeth. Doing this in a mindful way can begin long before we think the child is ready to participate–remember, they are taking in everything around them from the time they are born. At a later stage you will be able to provide the child with appropriately sized tools to participate themselves, and show them how to use them again. Then, you can do these activities together! Take time to brush teeth together, brush hair together, or say “cheers” and have water together. These moments are of special importance to a child, reflecting the basic rituals of human experience, so it’s important to make time for them.
It is integral to every child’s development that we give them the space and trust they need in order to try these activities independently. This can be challenging, and may result in water on the floor, toothpaste on clothes, or a whole tissue box used in one day. Of course, if there is a safety concern then it is important to make the necessary modifications when preparing a place in which these activities can be experienced. However, the development of a child’s autonomy is sacred. Any unnecessary intervention on our part can potentially undermine a child’s trust in themselves. Beginning with basic self-care opportunities, a child’s journey towards a confident self-image unfolds.
A toddler’s living space should offer the possibility for:
Seeing their reflection in a mirror
Using a child-sized hairbrush to independently brush hair
Cleaning hands independently with a damp cloth or from a controlled and monitored water source
Accessing and using a tissue to independently blow the nose
Accessing a child-sized container to independently dispose of used tissues